EMOTIONAL DYSREGULATION & ADHD
Emotional Dysregulation is a big part of ADHD; however, it’s not in the DSM-5 as criteria for ADHD. That being said, considering the structure of our brain, how it communicates, and how our memory works, it has to be recognized as a major factor in understanding and managing ADHD.
Here’s the thing about ADHD: people with ADHD feel things more. It’s in the way our brains are wired. There are differences in structure and communication from a lack of dopamine and how our brains develop. Regarding Emotional Dysregulation, these differences in our limbic system (which comprises the hippocampus, amygdala, hypothalamus, and thalamus) and our basal ganglia’s inhibition deficit can cause emotional dysregulation reactions. One of the most prevalent presentations of this is Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, also known as Rejection Sensitivity.
Many people think of Emotional Dysregulation as angry outbursts, but it can present in many different ways depending on how our ADHD affects us and what type of trauma we have dealt with in our lives. However, another aspect of this is our other emotions: happiness, curiosity, excitement, and desire to belong. We feel and express all of our emotions more.
However, in this article, we are going to focus on the negative side of these emotions. In simple terms, when we deal with triggers such as a lost object, a perceived rejection, or unfair criticisms, our limbic system experiences the emotions and signals our amygdala, which controls our reactions to activate our Fight/Flight/Fright/Fawn/Fix reflex.
Specifically for men, we often deal with aggressive responses such as Fight or Fix. However, some people may experience Flight or Fright responses.
In a neurotypical brain, there is a trigger that sends a signal when this happens from the cerebral cortex, a Logic Response that says:
“Wait a minute, let’s think about this.”
With ADHD, that trigger that is located primarily in the basal ganglia is not working or is non-existent, and so many of us react without thinking when we feel frustrated, criticized, or overwhelmed by our feelings. We lash out, yell, attack, or hide from the situation or person who caused the feelings.
However, it is important to realize that we are rarely responding to what is happening or being said to us in the now. We are responding to recent frustrations and stresses that we haven’t processed, and this issue is the final straw. Or a feeling that was triggered by what we have experienced in our past. Such as a past person who was abusive with a similar phrase or way of speaking or an experience in our past that left lingering unprocessed trauma.
Our responses to these triggers until we get treatment for these issues, are largely out of our control. It happens too quickly for us to stop the action, and without treatment, it’s very difficult for people with ADHD to overcome this reaction.
HOW DO WE MANAGE EMOTIONAL DYSREGULATION?
Managing Emotional Dysregulation can seem like a complicated process, but we aren’t alone. There are lots of resources out there that can help us. A big part of it is working with a psychiatrist so that we can figure out medications and treatments for Emotional Dysregulation. For example, many people react well to guanfacine, clonidine, or Lamictal. These medications help us balance our emotional responses and give us more time to process things before having outbursts. It’s important to talk to your psychiatrist about these options and see if they think they can help.
As mentioned above, therapy is also important; we have to learn about our emotions, our triggers, how to cope with them, and how to process our emotions healthily. We have to figure out how to use our creativity to channel our stress and frustrations so that they do not build up and overwhelm us. Therapy such as Cognitive Behavioral or Acceptance and Commitment has also shown amazing progress in helping people with ADHD learn and process their emotions more effectively.
Therapy can also help work to help exercise the Logic stop to help prevent Emotional Dysregulation, or at least let us walk away when we realize we are being triggered. Peer-to-Peer groups like the Men’s ADHD Support Group can also provide a lot of support as well by giving you a safe place to vent and get valuable feedback from people who have gone through what you are going through.
It’s also important to build a support system around ourselves. Now that we are learning how our ADHD and comorbidities affect us, we have to learn about the accommodations that we need, not just in our workplace but also in our relationships. We have to communicate the support we need from our spouses, parents, friends, and peers. We must learn to set boundaries to protect ourselves from triggering events. Therefore, educating ourselves on how ADHD affects us is integral to emotional regulation.
Emotional Dysregulation can affect people with ADHD in many ways, but it is still our responsibility to learn from our mistakes and move forward and heal. If you need help learning how ADHD affects you, remember that we have Weekly group sessions, and our Facebook group and Discord Chat server are amazing resources to talk about what you’re going through and get answers!
Shane Thrapp is a Certified ADHD Life, Relationship, and Career Coach.
Through his business, Creating Order From Chaos, he has helped hundreds of people find their paths through the chaos of life with ADHD and find their order and purpose.
He is also the Operations Director for our nonprofit Men’s ADHD Support Group, a board member for the Inattentive ADHD Coalition, and a public speaker who works to be a voice in advocacy for adult ADHD awareness.
If you want to help support our efforts, then please consider donating so that that we can keep Inspiring, Educating, and Empowering men to thrive with their ADHD.
