Journey of A Thousand Miles: Walking Through ADHD
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”
It is not just a common phrase that is spoken and heard throughout various cultures, but when you take time to consider it seriously, it can allow you to break down your journey and goals and process them into attainable increments.
What do I mean? Looking at your ‘Journey of a thousand miles’ in its entirety can be overwhelming, cause anxiety, or a multitude of various emotions that do not ignite our motivation to initiate the first step. But if we begin the journey understanding that it only requires one step, it allows us to embrace the process more than the final destination.
Several years ago, with both my wife and I working in the field of education, we were afforded the opportunity to begin a nightly routine that included walking together. Our schedule's flexibility meant we no longer had a fixed morning arrival time at school, allowing us to work from home and adapt our schedule. This newfound flexibility meant we could stay up later without affecting our energy levels the following day.
One of the greatest memories of that time was my wife and I beginning our journey that began with one step. My wife and I observe the Feast of Weeks, frequently called Pentecost. We had purposed in our minds to walk 50 miles prior to that day of celebration. For those who do not know, Pentecost also relates to 50 days after another day known as First Fruits. Just like that, without hesitation, we took one step, and the first time that we walked together, we walked three miles. The next day, without hesitation, it seemed like it was a natural routine to walk another three miles again. As we walked, we were able to have deep discussions. I do not recall exactly what we exchanged, but I will forever remember how I felt. Our walks allowed me to feel more connected to my wife. I got to see her in ways that I never imagined, and I value even more her thoughts, words, and courageous approach to life and parenting. I also learned more about her ambitions for life.
For me, exercise was now connected to connecting to my wife. I have now associated walking with my wife. Needless to say, after the “shut-down” and life returned to a form of norm, this obviously did not include midnight walks throughout the city. Although I was glad when we returned to in-person teaching, I was saddened that I no longer was able to walk and talk with my wife. Exercising was a way for us to connect, but in isolation and without accountability, I lacked the motivation… Occasionally, I walked alone for exercise, yet I deeply missed the companionship and conversations with my wife. Periodically, I would ask, “Do you want to walk?” She would say that she did, but the time allotted and new priorities did not allow it to be, so I did not walk because I felt that I needed her to walk with me.
I had to break out of this mindset. I needed to restart my walking for my own reasons. I asked myself, “What is stopping you?” and instead of thinking about it too much, I responded with action in August, just beginning to walk on my own, without hesitation, because you know us with ADHD think differently and get intrinsically motivated when something is NEW.
I literally told my wife, “I am going to go walking in the afternoon…” When I would get home from school, and the weather permitted, I would walk in our neighborhood in a loop, and this equaled about three miles. After listening to Atomic Habits by James Clear and Eat That Frog by Bryan Tracy, I realized that in order for me to continue this change, I needed to implement systems for accountability and sustainability.
Instead of relying on my wife to walk with me, I would send her text messages that included a screenshot from the Map My Walk app on my phone. I would also send these same messages to my band of brothers as I walked - this allowed me to hold myself accountable. Each afternoon, without fail, except for a few times, I used the app to document my progress and sent screenshots to several people. After doing this for several days and weeks, in conversation those that I sent the texts to would ask about my progress and give words of affirmation and compliment my consistency.
Why did I mention my wife and the connection to exercise earlier? After being consistent and persistent in my endeavors, my wife noticed and gave me a compliment that was just as valuable as her physical presence. She told me that she appreciated and admired my dedication and persistence and that she saw that when I put my mind to doing something, I will do all that I can to achieve the goal. That, right there, was all that I needed to keep going. Even though she never joined me physically in my new endeavor to be healthy, which included exercise, she was with me in more ways than she had ever imagined. Embracing the new lifestyle of exercise allowed me to lead my family by my actions instead of just giving lip service about the importance of being a good steward of our bodies.
After walking became more and more challenging to do in the evenings due to being a Daddy Uber, I chose to do something different to maintain my goal - Be Healthier - It was never my sole goal to only add walking to my life, but I wanted to be healthier, this meant that I had the opportunity to make choices that aligned with this new identity that was developing with each walk. Each night, I would begin to lay out the clothes that I would wear to walk in on the dresser as a reminder of what awaited me the next day. Without fail, I would see the clothes and be reminded that the journey only really began with one step. For me, I realized the first step was not the one outside with my walking shoes, but the step that truly mattered was getting dressed for the walk. Once I had on my athletic gear, the only natural next step was to put my earphones in and play “All Things New” by Tye Tribbett, one of my most favorite gospel artists, and I would begin my journey.
The great thing about this new experience was all that I learned and what I am continuing to learn. I've learned that persistence is much more valuable as a character trait because it has allowed me to exercise even on days that I was exhausted or honestly did not want to because I would have preferred to have done something else. It has taught me as well not to settle and always seek to improve. Instead of walking at the same exact pace every time, I eventually challenged myself to reduce the amount of time I walked per mile. Needless to say, these daily wins have increased my self-esteem, self-awareness, and confidence. Then, I was challenged by a brother from another mother to run a 5K, and another bromigo challenged me to do quick sprints in between my walking to increase my longevity and stamina for running. Soon, and again, without hesitation, I found myself running and walking intermittently and decreasing my time while simultaneously increasing my speed.
In addition to decreasing my time, I have found that exercise has allowed me to decrease how reactive I am to external stimuli, and I am more aware of my emotions. In times past, I will admit that my ability to self-regulate was not what it is now post exercising…
Now, I am still a work in progress, but now I am aware of how essential it is for me to get energy out through exercise… The few times that I have not exercised in the morning but exercised in the evenings, I could tell the difference. Exercise has also allowed me to be more aware of my symptoms of ADHD, and for that, I am abundantly grateful and thankful to have added exercise to my toolbox in addition to my faith, family, and support systems, medication, and therapy.
Speaking of my toolbox, check out this video of Dr. Bill Dodson discussing how important having a personalized owner’s manual or toolbox of the things that actually work for our specific brand of ADHD.
Although I am still on the journey and embracing the process, I am thankful for each step. From modeling for my family and them seeing my determination to even allowing my son and I to run our first 5K?! This never would have happened had I not taken the first step. Wherever you are on your journey, own YOUR journey and not be restricted to the expectations or current progress of others. Everyone has a process, and everyone has to have a starting point - let yours begin with that first step!
Jonathan E. Greer is a teacher, a podcaster, and a leader in his community. His podcast Striving With ADHD speaks to his journey with ADHD and uses his faith, therapy, and medication to manage it. He is also a moderator for our Men’s ADHD Support Group on Facebook, where he shares his amazing wisdom, his journey to manage his ADHD, as well as living and thriving in his faith. Please join us and find your way into a community of men who are all on this same journey in finding ourselves and living our authenticity.
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