Just Give them a F*cking Calculator
I am old enough to remember when the first electronic calculators came out. It was about 1975 and Texas Instruments was the first. They were this ugly tan with a number pad and the numbers read in red LED.
From that point, calculators caught on fast. The size shrank, the price dropped and there was a switch from LED to LCD readouts. In the late 70s to early 80s pocket calculators became a must-have tool to insure accuracy while calculating numbers. Sadly, back in the day, it was considered an unfair advantage to allow special needs children to use such tools as calculators. At that time, I was growing up in a small farm town in Northwest Indiana. ADHD had not gained the prevalence in schools that it does in this era of education. ADHD, or as it was referred to back then, Hyper Activity, was a way of describing students who were anywhere from being disruptive in class to kids who couldn’t sit still and were treated on the mental defect spectrum. The stigma was prevalent that a hyperactive child must have a character flaw or bad genetics or even was (please understand that this was the term back then) mentally r*tarded. Not much research had been done to date. Keep in mind that ice baths and electroshock therapy were used to treat depression, so mental health was really just one step above locking people in insane asylums such as the infamous Bedlam.
Research was emerging though on learning difficulties/disabilities. I fell into that category as a child. I remember one summer traveling with my parents to Ball State University and being given a battery of tests that would later diagnose me as having a learning disability in math. What slipped through the cracks, though, was the fact that I had ADHD as well.
If you are reading this blog, then you are more than likely a member of the ADHD community. Either you have been diagnosed or you love someone who has ADHD. Maybe you are a coach or a therapist who is striving to expand their knowledge. But we now know that learning challenges and ADHD often go together. We also know that ADHD manifests itself in multiple forms.
What absolutely baffles me is that our education system has yet to catch up with the science of learning. Every year, thousands of bright kids slip through the cracks of our one size fits all education system and yet it seems like our politicians are more concerned with naughty sections in books and our history being taught from the standpoint of the oppressed. When I was in Jr. High, I struggled through 7th and 8th grade math. The only reason I didn’t fail was done as a favor to my Dad, who was the Jr. High School Principal at the time. But I consistently got D-’s.
When I would receive my seemingly endless lectures from my parents and my teachers about how I could do better if I would just do or return my homework or pay better attention in class, I would literally leave my body. No one understood because my flavor of ADHD didn’t exist yet. I was that spacey kid who was more interested in making my pencil a rocket or spaceship, saw animals or cars in the patterns of the concrete blocks of the classroom.
No real accommodations were made for me. Our school didn’t have a Learning Disabilities Resource Specialist or even someone who could coach kids like me. Hell, I was a kid with a learning disability in math and I wasn’t even allowed to use a gosh damned calculator because that was considered cheating.
Let me place that into context for you: You have two kids of equal intellect, yet one is blind. They are both given stories to read, but the blind kid has to use a print book instead of a Braille or audiobook. After that they must both submit reports on the books. How is the blind kid supposed to do it? How does a 13-year-old boy with a learning disability in math do his math homework assignments or tests without a calculator? I can tell you that the level of frustration was almost intolerable.
The problem is that those of us with ADHD or Learning Disabilities or both struggle enough just to live in this neurotypical world. I see it every day in the Men’s ADHD Support Group. Someone is in jeopardy of losing their job because of poor work performance, someone is losing their marriage because of problems relating to their spouse, someone is losing their house because of impulsive spending caused by ADHD.
In a lot of ways, I believe that those of us who are neurodivergent tend to be more resilient than many neurotypicals because all of our lives we have had to overcome unfair obstacles and apathy and be able to adapt to achieve. We don’t ask for things to be given to us. We ask that we be accommodated with the tools that we need to level the playing field. Do we suffer consequences for our actions? Yes. Do we continue on? Most of us. But we should also be able to obtain the extra tools that we need to have a fair shot at life and all it has to offer.
In many situations, those accommodations are available, but we don’t know about them, nor how to ask. When people have ADHD or dyslexia, and other disabilities, give them the encouragement and support that they need, not unrealistic expectations. The next time your neurodivergent child asks for help because they are like me and struggling in math, don’t give them a lecture, give them a f*cking calculator.
Andy Kramer, is a 58 year old veteran and truck driver, was diagnosed with ADHD later in his life, and is now dedicated to helping men with ADHD. He actively participates in The Men’s ADHD Support Group on Facebook and in our Discord Chat community and aims to become an ADHD life coach. Andy also advocates for families with parents or children with ADHD to receive proper education support. Through his work, he has found purpose and community, and serves as an inspiration that it's never too late to make a difference.
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