Men’s Health Month: Mental Health Matters
A few days ago, I was afforded the opportunity to find a portable closet to be more organized. The problem was, however, that I did not have the right tool to assist me in reassembling the closet. Without hesitation, I went to Ace Hardware and bought the allen wrench toolset that I need to accomplish this task. With little effort, I was able to attach the bars to one another using the correct size allen wrench.
In the same manner that the right tools are needed for specific jobs, the same applies to the health of men, in particular mental health. Most places of employment expect for employees to complete an annual physical, the same should be expected for the mental health of individuals. Not necessarily or specifically for employment purposes, but we as men should be more aware of our mental health. We as men should learn to take advantage of the resources that are available consistently. It is not enough to only utilize therapists, psychiatrists and coaches during a crisis, but we should also be willing to do annual check-ins if we are not consistently utilizing this tool. Why should mental health be a concern of mine, as a man? Don’t we have enough to concern ourselves with already? Our mental health impacts every aspect of our lives. How might my mental health be impacting my life? Mental health encompasses how we think, feel, respond, and react. All of these have positive and negative effects on our relationships with others and ourselves. Our mental health determines how much or how little self-control we possess. Our mental health also determines how we view the world around us, our perspective. The thing about perspective is that our perspective impacts how we internalize the various external factors all around us.
The time and resources invested into mental health are worth it! For years, a friend of mine, who is a licensed therapist, repeatedly encouraged me to take advantage of the benefits of investing in my mental health. His words went in one ear and out the other because despite the fact that he, too, is an African-American male, mental health is a taboo topic. Nevertheless, it has been stated that a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
About two years ago, I took the leap of faith! I called and made an appointment with one of the local therapists. When I went into my therapist’s office for the first time, I remember it like yesterday. I sat in the leather chair and picked up this fidget that was constructed of several red and white pyramids that were connected. As I rotated the pyramids, I could create a straight line or continue to alternate the movements of the pyramids and the shape looked like a snake made from pyramids. With each question, I seemed to be entranced by the fidget. After she asked all of the necessary questions, she without hesitation shared with me that people with ADHD gravitate to that particular fidget and I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult.
After the initial meeting, I went through stages of grief with ADHD. First, I was shocked at the fact that I had gone through over forty years of my life not knowing as to why it was more challenging for me in school and relationships all that time. Then, I felt guilty for the relationships I had mishandled because of my lack of emotional awareness and impulsive responses. In some ways I felt angry at myself for not taking advantage of mental health services sooner. A few months later, depression hit like a ton of bricks because I felt so inadequate. However, afterwards, I learned to find the positive in my process and learned that I was not alone. Working through the acceptance process, I joined the Men’s ADHD Support Group, became one of the moderators and have gained a wealth of resources in the process. Years later, I am most hopeful from it all, but I have learned that coping and managing ADHD is a process, not an event.
Every day is a process, but I am worth it! I am abundantly grateful for a better understanding of not only why I do what I do, but I am even more appreciative of the fact I am aware of how I think. I have learned to accept that I have the ability to make connections to things that others find challenging. And since I think differently, as a man with ADHD, I see the broad picture much more clearer than others. Without therapy, learning coping strategies that have been proven effective in my life, I would not be where I am today mentally, emotionally, socially, or even professionally. If you are a man reading this and you are second guessing yourself, feel you do not have the time to invest in therapy, I beg you - get the help you need. Not only will getting the help you need benefit you, but you will be a better person for everyone in your surroundings! What better time than now in Men’s Health Month?
Jonathan E. Greer is a teacher, a podcaster, and a leader in his community. His podcast Striving With ADHD speaks to his journey with ADHD and using his faith, therapy, and medication to manage it. He is also a moderator for our Men’s ADHD Support Group on Facebook, where he shares his amazing wisdom, his journey to manage his ADHD, as well as living and thriving in his faith. Please join us and find your way into a community of men who are all on this same journey in finding ourselves and living our authenticity.
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