Finding the Right Therapist for ADHD: The Journey to Real Help
Let's be real for a second—finding a therapist who actually understands ADHD can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. So many of us have been through it: sitting in talk therapy, pouring out our struggles, only to feel like we're talking to a wall. The therapist, no matter how well-meaning, seems to miss the mark. And it’s not their fault. Most therapists aren’t trained to treat ADHD in adults.
In fact, much of the training in ADHD focuses on children, leaving adults like us to navigate this disorder on our own. And that’s a huge problem. Most therapists who want to work with Adults with ADHD have to take external training through specialized coursework to get the background that they need to be able to treat Adults with ADHD.
But here's the thing: There are therapists who can help us, those who have taken the journey to learn. The trick is knowing what to look for and how to find them.
Understanding What Therapy Can—and Can’t—Do
Before we get into finding the right therapist, let's talk about expectations. Many of us go into therapy thinking it will fix everything. We expect our inattention, impulsive spending, or chronic procrastination to disappear. But the truth is, therapy isn’t a magic wand that will wipe away the core features of ADHD.
Instead, think of therapy as a way to address the impairments caused by ADHD. It can help with emotional regulation, those dreaded shame spirals, and the "all-or-nothing" thinking that often traps us. It can also teach us how to communicate better and manage time more effectively. But if you're expecting to walk out of a therapy session suddenly cured of your procrastination, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
What Types of Therapy Work Best for ADHD?
So, what does work? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective therapies for people with ADHD. CBT helps us challenge those negative thought patterns—like catastrophizing, where you always expect the worst, or comparative thinking, where you’re constantly measuring yourself against others. As ADDitude Magazine highlights, "CBT can help rewire those automatic, negative responses, turning self-doubt into self-compassion."
When searching for a therapist, start by looking for someone who specializes in CBT and has experience with ADHD in adults. Use keywords like “CBT ADHD adults” in your searches. Trust me, this alone can make a world of difference.
Then, there’s Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). DBT is particularly good at helping with emotional dysregulation, one of the core challenges many of us face. DBT focuses on building skills to manage intense emotions, set boundaries, and learn how to communicate better. Again, when searching, use phrases like “DBT ADHD adults” to find the right fit.
Finally, if trauma plays a significant role in your life (and let’s be honest, for many of us, it does), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is worth considering. EMDR is a therapy specifically designed to address trauma. Search for “EMDR ADHD adults trauma” when you’re hunting for a therapist in this category.
How to Choose the Right Therapist
Now that you know what to look for, let’s talk about how to actually find that therapist.
Start with a targeted search: Use Google, Psychology Today, or other therapy directories. Search for keywords like “CBT ADHD adults” or “DBT ADHD adults.”
Shortlist your options: Pick five therapists who seem like a good fit. If five feels overwhelming, narrow it down to three.
Book consultations: Most therapists offer a free 15-30 minute consultation. Use this time to ask important questions. Do they understand ADHD as a neurodevelopmental disorder? Can they help with emotional dysregulation or time management issues?
Trust your gut: During these consultations, go with your intuition. One therapist will likely stand out as the right match.
Don’t settle: If you don’t start seeing changes after six to eight sessions, don’t be afraid to move on. Therapy should be helping, not keeping you stuck.
And one more thing: whenever possible, opt for in-person therapy. Telehealth is a great option when you’re on the road or dealing with social anxiety, but being physically present in the therapist's office can make a huge difference. You’re less likely to get distracted by your phone or other things in the environment, and you can focus on the work you’re doing together.
Realistic Timelines for Change
Let’s be honest—most of us want instant results. We go into therapy thinking that after a month, everything will be fixed. But change doesn’t happen that fast. For most people with ADHD, it takes six to eight weeks (at least) to start seeing real progress. That’s just the beginning.
Expect to meet with your therapist weekly for the first few months. Once you’ve built a solid foundation, you can space out the sessions to every two weeks, and eventually to once a month. But remember, managing ADHD is a lifelong journey. Therapy may become a consistent part of your self-care routine, and that’s okay.
Another thing to consider during this time is to develop a process for recording your thoughts. A lot of times we will need some sort of record to be able to track our struggles, as well as our progress. We talk about therapy journals in this blog. Redefining Journaling When You Have ADHD
Take Control of Your Healing
Finding a therapist who understands ADHD is hard, but not impossible. It’s about doing the research, asking the right questions, and trusting yourself to know what feels right. You deserve someone who gets it—someone who will stand with you as you learn to navigate the challenges ADHD brings into your life.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the process or unsure where to start, don’t hesitate to reach out to the Men’s ADHD Support Group on Facebook and come check out our Weekly support group meetings! Feel free to ask your questions and get feedback and help in your search. Remember, the right help is out there, and your journey to healing starts with taking that first step. You're not broken. You're just wired differently—and that difference is a strength.
Shane Thrapp is a Certified ADHD Life, Relationship, and Career Coach, and the Operations Director for our nonprofit.
Through his business, Creating Order From Chaos, he has helped hundreds of people find their paths through the chaos of life with ADHD and find their order and purpose.
He is also a public speaker who works to be a voice in advocacy for adult ADHD awareness.
If you want to help support our efforts, then please consider donating or volunteering so that we can keep Inspiring, Educating, and Empowering men to thrive with their ADHD.
